Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
