the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He has the fingertips of a God
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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