i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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