I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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