"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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