I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
