she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
