return my video game
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
