Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
