Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
