Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
