"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
