My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
then he tried to convert me to islam
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
