did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
