So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
