You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
