in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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