i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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