I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I think your dad took our porno
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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