Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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