they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
