You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Randomize
