This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
