Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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