I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
