i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
