she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
