he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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