yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
