Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Someone came in the potted fern
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
