Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize