i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
