dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
How's work?
Spinning.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
