A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
ttyl tear gas
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize