Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
