saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
