there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
