Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize