jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
