omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
