ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
