the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
