if you like me you must not know who I am
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
