TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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