Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
