my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Two words: blizzard sex
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
