The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
