it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
