I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
