they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize