Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
