we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
