My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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