I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
