Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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