I've blown a few things in my day
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
This gyro tastes like lonliness
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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