Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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