i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
